


Patient, Kind, and Varied

by sahiya



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, Conversations, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 21:35:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/312410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sahiya/pseuds/sahiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. The Doctor is the luckiest bastard in this universe or any other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [firefly124](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firefly124/gifts), [Canaan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canaan/gifts).



> Happy Holidays, Firefly and Canaan! I hope you don't mind sharing this stuffer. You two had very similar pairings listed, and once I started writing it, I couldn't decide who to give it to! Given the length, I didn't think you'd mind.
> 
> Thanks to Yamx for beta reading!

Everything had changed since Rose Tyler had last set foot on the TARDIS. She herself had transformed into someone her younger self would hardly have recognized. Physically, of course, she barely had a single gray hair to show for the last three hundred seventy-one years, but inside, she was . . . very different. She was a widow and a killer, both several times over. She'd held her grandchildren when they were born, and she had also held them as they died.

Sometimes she thought she should change her name altogether, but there was something in her that resisted the idea. For all her differences, she was still Rose Marion Tyler.

The Doctor had changed, too. He'd changed his face, decided bow-ties were cool, and got married. _Married_. Rose was too old and too tired to waste time on jealousy, and she wouldn't have wanted to hate River Song even if she could, but it was still a shock when the Doctor had introduced her as his _wife_. The Doctor, who had blanched white at the mere thought of a mortgage, had a _wife_.

And then there was Jack - older, sadder, and infinitely wiser Jack. Rose thought he might have changed most of all, and it made her grateful for how relatively well her own immortality had treated her. She’d known pain and plenty of it, but she’d never had to do the things or make the choices Jack had.

Even the TARDIS had changed. The coral struts were gone, replaced with metal, glass, and gears. Rose's bedroom, though, was the same as it ever was. Soft pinks and dark greens, a beautiful four poster bed. It should have felt small, like trying to squeeze into a dress that didn't fit anymore, but it didn't. It felt like home.

Rose kicked off her shoes and lay down on the duvet. She had the feeling that if she opened the wardrobe, she'd find the clothes she'd left behind, so long ago, and she wasn't ready for that yet. She closed her eyes.

Someone knocked.

 _Jack_ , she thought. She didn't think the Doctor would be setting foot in her bedroom any time soon. She supposed it might be River, checking to see if she needed anything, but from the glint in River's eye, Rose was fairly certain she’d had other plans for herself and the Doctor. "Come in!" she called, and the door slid open.

It was the Doctor. Carrying a tea tray.

"Hello," he said, a lock of dark brown hair falling in his face and making him appear even more sheepish than he sounded. "Thought you might like a cup of tea. You still like English Breakfast, don't you? Milk and sugar?"

"I think so," Rose said, sitting up. "We didn't have English Breakfast in the other universe, so it's been a while."

"No English Breakfast?" the Doctor said, clearly horrified.

"No English Breakfast. And you left me there," she teased, smiling, "in a world without English Breakfast!" She realized her mistake the moment the words were out of her mouth. The Doctor physically flinched, nearly dropping the tray, and Rose stood up. "No, no," she said, holding her hands out. "Doctor, I'm sorry, it's been so long for me - I forgave you a long time ago."

"I hope you were happy," the Doctor said, not quite looking at her. "You and . . ."

"John," Rose supplied. "We were. For more than forty years."

"Good. That's good."

"It was. Now, come and sit, Doctor. Unless you need to be getting back to River?"

"Ah, no," the Doctor said, setting the tea tray on her bed and folding himself awkwardly to sit beside it. Rose helped herself to a cup of tea, taking a few seconds to simply breathe in the steam. Memories bubbled in the back of her mind, but she quashed them in favor of listening to the Doctor. "River said she wanted Jack to herself for a few hours. Apparently they've met before," he added, just a bit sulkily.

Rose smiled. "Jealous?"

"No! Not really. A bit. Well." The Doctor grimaced. "Trying not to be. After all, it wouldn't be terribly fair. She and I, we're all out of order and hardly ever in the same place for more than a few days at a time." He sounded as though he were reciting what someone else - River, undoubtedly - had told him. "She says I'm the love of her life, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for anyone else."

"That sounds sensible," Rose said, and took her first sip of tea. She closed her eyes and let the hot, faintly bitter liquid slide down her throat.

When she opened her eyes, the Doctor was watching her, smiling faintly. "Good old English Breakfast," he said. "You still like it, then?"

"So it seems," Rose said, and reached for a scone to nibble on. "What about you?" she asked, masochistically curious. "Do you ever have anyone besides River? Or wish you did?"

The Doctor was silent for a rather long time. "I haven't," he said at last. "It's different for River. She's more human than Time Lord, really, and you humans _dance_ a lot more than Time Lords ever did. Which doesn't mean I can't or won't or don't, you know, just that I haven't, but -"

"Doctor," Rose said, very quietly, "no."

He paused mid-flow to stare at her. "No?"

"No." She leaned forward and cupped his face in her hand. "You know I loved you," she said, her throat suddenly tight. "I still do. And I've been in a lot of different relationships, with a lot of different people. But I won't play second fiddle in River Song's orchestra. It'd break my heart, and my heart's been broken enough."

"No, Rose, no," he breathed. "No, I didn't - bloody hell, I _knew_ I'd do this all wrong!" He jumped up and paced away, turning back to rake his hands through his hair. "I love you," he said. "I should never have been so afraid to say it, but I spent my last two lives afraid that if I admitted to loving something, the universe would take it away, and I was so afraid of that with you - and it _did_ take you away, but then it gave you back - twice - and River says she'll kill me if I waste this opportunity, so please, please, Rose, believe me, you would never be second fiddle in anybody's orchestra. You've always had your own."

Rose pressed her hand to her mouth, unable to speak. "Doctor?" she finally managed.

“Rose?” he replied, shakily.

“ _Yes._ ”

“Yes?” he repeated, eyes widening.

“Yes. Now kiss me. _Now._ ”


	2. Yet Another Chance

Jack found the Doctor in the swimming pool, a cavernous grotto he didn't think had existed at all the last time he was on board the TARDIS. The Doctor was swimming laps, back and forth, not bothering to come up for air. But Jack had no doubt that the Doctor knew full well he was there.

He stripped down without any show and plunged in. He did a few easy laps of his own, to burn off some energy and let the Doctor get used to his presence. Then he swam over to the ledge that ran around the edge of the pool and pulled himself up to sit on it. He leaned back on his elbows and closed his eyes, enjoying the warm water lapping at his body, the Doctor's splashes echoing in the chamber, the watery light rippling on the ceiling.

Minutes passed. Finally the Doctor broke the surface and stroked over to Jack. He looked up at Jack through a pair of ridiculous black goggles and said, "Shouldn't you be snogging my wife?"

His tone was amiable enough, but Jack glanced at him just to be sure. He didn’t look like he was about to throw Jack into the Time Vortex, but Jack decided to proceed with caution nevertheless. "She said she was sick of me and I should find you," he said. "I think she had something in mind for her and Rose."

"That sounds ominous," the Doctor said. He hauled himself up on the ledge beside Jack. "Once more, I've let myself be outnumbered on my own TARDIS."

Jack smiled. "Don’t worry, I'll be out of your hair soon enough."

The Doctor pulled off his goggles. "You will?"

"Well, I really only meant to help Rose find you." He'd never expected the Doctor's invitation - well, not so much invitation as _assumption_. He'd simply assumed Jack was coming, and Jack hadn't had the heart to say no.

"Thank you for that," the Doctor said, twisting to look at Jack. "It was . . . unexpected."

"Yeah, well." Jack sat up and jabbed the Doctor in the chest with his finger. "Break her heart, and I will hunt you like a dog."

The Doctor smiled sadly. "Too late, isn't it? I've broken her heart twice now. I can't seem to shake the habit. Broke River's heart the day I met her. And you, Jack. I broke your heart, too, more times than I can count."

Jack shrugged. "I can take it."

"You shouldn't have to. And you don't have to leave, not if you don't want to."

"You don't think it's a bit crowded? You and Rose and River . . ."

"It was you and Rose and me, once upon a time."

"Yeah," Jack said, unable to keep the wistful note out of his voice. "Those were good days."

"The best," the Doctor said. "I had a leather jacket. Leather jackets are cool."

"For once, Doc, I agree with you."

"Do you ever think . . ." The Doctor stopped. "River's made me think a lot about things that I never thought about before. Or things I thought about but didn't want to think about. I'm not a good man, Jack, no matter what you think, so I have a lot of rules, but I've broken a lot of them with her, and it's made me wonder if maybe I should've broken them sooner." He looked at Jack. "The three of us, Jack. Do you think, if I hadn’t been so afraid . . ."

Jack frowned. "I don’t know, Doc. I know I was madly in love with you and Rose, and Rose was certainly head over heels for you." He'd never been sure what they felt for him. If only they'd never ended up on the Gamestation - but there was no use thinking that. That way lay madness.

The Doctor was silent for a little while. "What did you and River talk about last night?" he asked at last. "Old times?"

"Not really. It was much more interesting to talk about you." The Doctor pulled a horrified face, and Jack chuckled. "You'd better get used to it, you unspeakably lucky bastard. If you think Rose and River are never going to compare notes, think again."

The Doctor shook his head. "Lucky," he repeated, sounding a little hollow. "Try _terrified_. I'm not good at this, Jack."

"At what?"

"At - at _feelings_! You know I'm rubbish at feelings. I do well enough with River because mostly she already knows how I feel, but with Rose, I just - it never worked without you, you know. After we lost you, she and I never . . . well, we never."

"Really?" Jack said, raising his eyebrows.

The Doctor shook his head. He was quiet, staring into the quietly shifting depths of the pool. Jack leaned back in the water and closed his eyes.

"Jack," the Doctor said at last.

"Mmm?"

"Stay."

The Doctor said it so quietly, Jack wasn't sure he'd heard right. "What?"

"Stay. Please."

"Why?" Jack asked, forcing a laugh. "So I can pull your ass out of the fire when things get rough with River and Rose?"

"No," the Doctor said, and suddenly Jack couldn't breathe because the Doctor was leaning over him, pressing against him all along his side. "Because it was never the same after you left. Because I miss you. Because," he cradled Jack's head in his broad palm, "because I've got another chance with Rose and I want another chance with you, too."

"Are you sure?" Jack said. "Don't do this to me if you’re not, Doctor. Just don't."

"I'm sure," the Doctor said, and brushed his lips across Jack's, as though for emphasis. "Besides . . ."

"What?" Jack asked.

"It'd be brilliant fun. Don't you think it'd be fun?"

Jack started laughing. The Doctor stared. "What? _What?_ "

"Nothing," Jack said, reaching up to pull the Doctor down for a real kiss. "It's just, _it'd be ever so much fun_ were River's exact words to me last night."


	3. Just a Bit Further

"So, Rose," River said one day, as they inched their way through a ventilation shaft, "I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Is now really the time?" Rose grunted back from slightly further up the shaft.

"Do we have anything better to do?" River asked. She reached down to make sure her blaster was still secured, snug against her inner thigh where it wouldn't bang against the walls.

"I suppose not. What is it?"

"Do you ever fancy women?"

Rose smacked her head against the top of the ventilation shaft, swore impressively, and froze. River went very still as well, listening for shouting or footsteps that might indicate they'd been discovered. But there were none. After a moment, she said, "I think we're safe. How's your head?"

"Fine," Rose said, continuing up the shaft. "You have amazing timing, you know. We're trapped in a ventilation shaft with you staring at my arse, and you decide now is the time to ask if I fancy women?"

"And a lovely arse it is, too," River said. "I'm only curious."

"So that wasn't a come-on?"

"It was if you want it to be."

Rose laughed. "God, you're worse than Jack, you know that?"

"Honey, I am so much better than Jack Harkness, you've no idea."

Rose snorted with laughter again, but quickly stopped. "Stop that," she hissed. "Someone's going to hear me laughing and it'll be all your fault. Wait," she added quickly, before River could respond. The two of them stopped, and Rose pulled out the holocube with a map of the ventilation system that they'd managed to steal before starting on this little expedition. "There's a split up ahead. I think the control panel's just only a few meters down on the right."

"Excellent," River said. More sure of themselves now, they picked up the pace, and soon arrived at the control panel. It was unfortunately exposed to the outside through a wire mesh grating, so while River did a spot of rewiring, Rose stood by with a torch in one hand and a blaster in the other.

"You think Jack and the Doctor have made it to the reactor yet?" Rose asked, checking her watch.

"They should have done," River replied, using her computer to program the timer she'd attached to the control panel. In exactly thirteen minutes, all the lights in the complex would go out - the misdirection that would allow the Doctor and Jack to stage the main event. "C'mon," she added, fitting the cover back on the control panel, "let's go. The longer we stay here -"

"HEY!"

"- the more likely we are to be discovered," River finished, and ducked away as a lone guard came pelting into the room. Rose calmly raised her blaster and shot him.

River eyed her with fresh admiration. "Rose Tyler. Did you just -"

"Stun him? Yes, I did. Now help me pull him into the ventilation shaft. By the time he comes round, it'll all be over, but if someone figures out what we've done before then -"

"Right," River said, and between the two of them they managed to wrestle the guard into the shaft and rig the grating so it at least _looked_ as though it were still on.

Eleven minutes left, eleven-point-five until they had to pick up Jack and the Doctor. River led the way up the shaft toward the room where they'd parked the TARDIS. This time, Rose got to stare at her arse, and though there wasn't much light to see by, River tried to put just a little more sway into it. "You know, you never answered my question," River said over her shoulder.

"I know," Rose said.

"Well? Don't tell me you're _shy_ about it after almost four hundred years."

"Not shy. It's just . . . well, I guess the short answer is yes, but not very often."

"What's the long answer?"

Rose didn’t reply for several minutes. When she finally did, all she said was, "I think we must be almost there.”

Which was, of course, no answer at all; not even a decent evasion. River decided not to pry. It wasn't really her business, after all, and though she liked Rose and would have liked to have more with her than they did, she certainly wasn't going to get it by pushing. If Rose wasn't attracted to her, then that was that.

"Just a bit further," she agreed.

With two minutes to spare, they tumbled out of the ventilation shaft and into the room where they'd parked the TARDIS. River unlocked the door and ran to the console with Rose right behind her. "Where do you want me?" Rose asked.

"Blue stabilizers," River said, and let her consciousness brush against the TARDIS's. _Hello, old girl _, she thought, smiling. It had frightened her that first time in Berlin; she was so small beside the TARDIS, a tiny fish in a very large sea. But it didn’t frighten her now. It felt like being cupped in the palm of someone’s hand with them whispering in her ear.__

“River?” Rose said, startling River into opening her eyes. “We’ve got about forty-five seconds to pick up Jack and the Doctor.”

River shook her head to clear it. “Right you are,” she said, and pulled the lever to release the brakes.

They made it in time, but it was not a day when everybody lived. Far fewer died than would have if they had never come, but there were still too many casualties for the Doctor’s taste. He took them into the vortex and then disappeared down below the console to tinker. Rose and Jack vanished as well, so River climbed the stairs to her room. She showered, changed into clothes that didn’t smell of ventilation shaft, and went in search of the Cloister Room.

The Cloister Room was a relic from a previous TARDIS, the Doctor had told her once; it looked rather like a Gothic cathedral fallen into ruin. It never failed to make River feel just that little bit more at peace with herself. That was a feeling she cherished, and not one that she felt very often beyond the bounds of the TARDIS. She knew the room was also one of the Doctor's favorites, especially when he was feeling low, and she almost expected to find him there today.

She did not expect to find Rose Tyler there, reclining against the trunk of a tangled, gnarled tree covered in soft blue moss and watching one of the many butterflies that fluttered about the room. Rose glanced up as she entered, and River stopped in her tracks. "Sorry," River said. "I didn't mean to disturb you."

Rose shook her head. "You didn't." She let out a deep sigh. "Come sit down.”

River seated herself on the ground beside her. “I love this room.”

“It’s very peaceful,” Rose said. She was sitting cross-legged, with her arms open and resting on her knees, almost as though in meditation. “I never found it when I was here before, but I don’t think I needed it then.” River nodded. “I’m glad you came,” Rose went on, eyes trained on one of the butterflies. “I know I never answered your question."

River shook her head. "You don't have to. I was just being nosy, that's all. The Doctor's always saying I'm too curious for my own good, and he's right."

"No, it's fine." Rose drew a deep breath. "I told you the short answer. The long answer has a name - Allison. Al. We worked together at Torchwood in the late - no, the mid-twenty-second century."

River smiled. "What was she like?"

"She was . . . amazing. She was so bold and brash on the outside, but inside she was a closet romantic." Rose shook her head, her lips parted in a smile. "She used to drive me mad rushing into these situations I thought for sure would get her killed, but somehow she always got herself and her team out. She ate chocolate ice cream after dinner almost every night, and she used to come to bed still tasting of it." Rose sighed, closing her eyes. "I wish I could remember more about her. We were together for ten years, and so much of it is just lost inside my head. But I've been thinking a lot about her since I came back." She opened her eyes and looked at River. "You remind me of her, so much."

"Do I?" River said, unspeakably flattered.

"You do. Anyway. That's the long answer."

River nodded, thoughtfully. The two of them were quiet for a time. River listened to the TARDIS’s contented hum, resonating through the grassy floor. Finally, she said, "Rose.”

“Mm?”

“I think we should have an adventure, just the two of us. Send the blokes off for a bit and get to know each other. What do you say?"

Rose shrugged. "Sure. Sounds like fun. Where should we go?"

"Somewhere exciting. Somewhere neither of us has ever been. Somewhere beautiful."

Rose’s lips quirked into a half-smile. "River, are you asking me out on a date?"

"A date," River said, testing the words out. "How quaint. Yes, I do believe I am."

"Then yes," Rose said, and smiled, catching the tip of her tongue between her teeth. "Let's."


	4. Woman Wept

Woman Wept was just as Rose remembered it. It was mid-day when they emerged from the TARDIS, which meant the sky was a swirling mass of greens and blues and pinks, with one moon half over the horizon and the other high in the sky. The air was crisp, cold, and perfectly clear. Rose closed her eyes as she drew her first deep breath, standing in the shadow of one of the towering waves, forever frozen, forever perfect.

She opened her eyes when the Doctor draped a coat over her shoulders. She smiled up at him and shrugged into it. “Is River sure she doesn’t want to come?” she asked, as Jack came to stand on her other side, arms loaded down with a thermal blanket and a picnic basket.

“She says she has work to do,” the Doctor said, frowning. “I reminded her that we have a time machine, and she said she didn’t care, she wanted the three of us to go on. Together.” His frown deepened. “She emphasized the _together_ part several times.”

Rose was quite certain that River Song was capable of being subtle when it suited her, but from what she’d experienced of River so far, it didn’t suit her very often. Her extremely direct style was sometimes a little intimidating, but it did tend to cut through all the red tape. Rose slipped one hand into Jack’s and the other hand into the Doctor’s. “Just the three of us, then. Like the last time we were here.”

“I remember,” the Doctor said.

“Me too,” Jack said. Something in his voice made Rose look at him. His eyes were distant. “It was the most beautiful place I’d ever seen, besides the Boe.”

“I’d like to see the Boe someday,” Rose told him, squeezing his hand.

“Someday,” Jack said, and cleared his throat. “Shall we?”

Hand in hand, they picked their way across the ice. All three of them were wearing special shoes for walking on the slick ice, but it still took some care. They walked until they couldn’t see the TARDIS anymore, until the waves stopped and a frozen, unending expanse of ice opened up before them. Rose caught her breath. For a few seconds, she didn’t feel so terribly different from the girl she’d been the last time she was here. She was still terribly small beside the waves, a speck of warmth on this cold, cold world. But she wasn’t alone.

They spread the blanket out at the edge of the ice field, where they had the best view of the horizon. The blanket muffled the cold of the ice completely and there was no wind at all. Still, Rose was glad for her coat as they sat down and started unpacking their picnic: wine and exotic fruit from three worlds, fresh bread and meat and cheese, dark chocolate for dessert.

“Wine?” Jack asked, as he uncorked the bottle.

“Yes, please,” Rose said, holding out her cup.

“No, thank you,” the Doctor said, wrinkling his nose. “Horrid stuff, wine.”

“You liked it before,” Jack said, as he filled Rose’s cup.

“Well, that was before. Different me now, different taste buds. I used to eat yogurt, now I think it’s only a step above wine. All those little fruity bits.” He shuddered.

“Well, I think it’s lovely,” Rose said, sipping her wine. She didn’t know what it was - Jack had dug out it of the TARDIS cellar - but it tasted like sun-warmed blackberries. She sipped some more and tilted her face up to the heatless sun. She closed her eyes. Beyond the faint rustling of Jack and the Doctor, there was no sound at all. Just silence.

“You did that last time we came,” Jack said quietly. “Tilted your head back like that.” She opened her eyes and looked at him. “I remember. I was watching you, and I thought, _I should kiss her now_. But then I looked over and saw the Doctor watching you, too.”

“And you were afraid he’d kill you where you stood?” Rose asked with a smile.

“Something like that,” Jack said, grinning ruefully.

“Might’ve done,” the Doctor agreed. “I had a jealous streak back then.”

“Only back then?” Rose teased.

“I’m enlightened now,” the Doctor said, with dignity. “River has endeavored to further my . . . enlightenment.”

“Is that what they call it these days, Doc?” Jack said. Rose giggled. He looked over and gave her the barest wink. “Then you won’t mind if I do this.” He reached for her and Rose went willingly, pressing her lips against Jack’s. He tasted of the wine and of something indefinably _Jack._ He hitched himself closer, slid his arms around her inside her coat, and deepened the kiss. There was something about Jack that was both comforting and comfortable to her. Even the first time they’d done this upon her return, she had felt as though they’d done it a million times before. When they broke the kiss, Rose rested her head against Jack’s chest and opened her eyes to smile at the Doctor.

“Don’t mind at all,” the Doctor managed after only a few seconds of opening and closing his mouth silently. “Can’t remember why I ever did.”

“Good,” Jack said, and held his hand out. “But it’d be better with three. C’mere, Doctor.”

The Doctor barely hesitated before sliding across the blanket to join them. He slid one hand beneath Rose’s coat and wrapped his other arm around Jack’s waist. He tilted his head to kiss her, then turned it to kiss Jack. Rose felt her breath catch at the beauty of it, their heads bent together, the arch of Jack’s neck, the fall of the Doctor’s hair across his forehead.

“I’m glad you stayed,” she heard the Doctor murmur to Jack, when they came up for air at last.

“Me too,” Jack said, and turned to press his forehead to Rose’s. “Me too.” He tilted his head and brushed his lips just below her ear. Rose shivered. “It’s a little chilly out here for what I’d like to do right now, though.”

“Maybe we should move the picnic back to the TARDIS,” Rose said, and was pleased when her voice didn’t squeak. “What do you think, Doctor?”

The Doctor let out a long, shaky breath and tightened his arms around both of them. Looking at him, Rose saw that his eyes were simultaneously dark with arousal and damp with tears. “I think that right now, I’d do anything either of you asked of me.”


	5. No Regrets

It was not long ago, really, that the Doctor had thought he'd be celibate for the remainder of his lives. Humans were wonderful, amazing, _brilliant_ , but they certainly weren't appropriate sexual partners.

And then along came River, who, in her inimitable way, had blasted every pre-conceived notion he'd had about humans and sex right out of the sky. Sex with River, the Doctor had discovered once he’d finished blushing about it, was not quite like sex with one of his own people. It was rawer. It was _kinky._ And Time help him, he loved it. He loved the way she dug her fingernails into his back, the way she rolled him over when she wanted to be on top, the way she sometimes tied him up and gagged him because he talked too bloody much for his own damn good.

It was only because he'd been with River that he could be with Rose. And being with Rose - well, it wasn't like being with River. Sliding into her for the first time had felt like coming home to a place he'd never been before, somewhere he'd only imagined and never dared to hope he might someday find himself. He'd kissed her, swallowing her moans, and she'd wrapped her legs around him, one of her heels digging into the back of his calf. Rose was everything he'd wanted and never thought he could have, and now that he'd started he didn't think he'd ever have his fill.

And then there was Jack. He was always going to be the most difficult, the Doctor knew. His previous self had a lot to answer for, but since he was nowhere to be found, it fell to himself to do the answering. He'd expected sex with Jack to be a bit rough, a bit hard, and he'd been surprised when it was really quite . . . tender. Jack had laid him out and given him the most leisurely blow job he'd ever been privileged to receive. He’d had the feeling Jack was making the most of a moment he’d thought might never come again, and when it had come time for the Doctor to return the favor, he’d tried to show Jack that that wasn’t true, that the Doctor wasn’t giving this to him just once.

Making love to Rose and Jack together had been . . . mind-blowing. Tender and playful and intimate and funny by turns. Lying with them afterward in a tangle of limbs, the Doctor’s face pressed to Jack’s shoulder, Jack’s arm draped across Rose’s waist, Rose’s calf hooked across the Doctor’s own, the Doctor had felt as though a piece of himself he hadn’t even known was missing had finally been returned.

They were all so terribly different, his mostly-humans. But there was one thing they all had in common.

They were _exhausting_.

“Poor Doctor,” River said, when she found him sprawled facedown on his bed. He mumbled something indistinct into the TARDIS blue duvet, and felt the bed dip as she climbed on. She straddled his hips, and he brought his arms up to cradle his head. “Did we wear you out?” she asked, digging her thumbs into the pressure point at the base of the Doctor’s skull.

The Doctor groaned, then struggled to find two synapses to rub together. It was much harder than it should have been. “You’re not upset about yesterday?” he finally managed.

“Not at all,” she said, as she worked her way down his spine. “I insisted, remember? The three of you needed some time to work things out. Judging by how worn out you are, I presume you did.”

“Think so,” the Doctor said. They’d made a start, at least, and with Jack and Rose he was assured they would have plenty of time for the rest. He had no idea what he’d done to deserve such a surfeit of forgiveness, but he could only be grateful.

“Good. I’m glad to hear that.” She stretched out along his back, resting her head on his shoulder. The Doctor felt himself relaxing beneath the soft, warm weight of her. He didn’t sleep often, but he thought he might, now. He was nearly there when he heard River say, “She’s glad to have a crew again.”

The Doctor opened his eyes. “The TARDIS?”

“Mmm. She missed having a crew.”

The Doctor frowned. “I did all right.”

River laughed gently. “No one’s saying you didn’t, sweetie. But you told me yourself - a TARDIS was always meant to be flown by a team. And we’re all part of her, in one way or another. She made us all who we are, for better or worse.”

The Doctor was quiet. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

“Neither had I,” River said. She slid off his back and onto the bed, hooking one foot over his leg to pull herself closer. The Doctor rolled onto his side to face her. “The TARDIS made me realize it.” She sighed. “I think she regrets some of it. She regrets how much Jack and Rose have suffered, regrets what happened to me. But she doesn’t regret us all being here now.”

“And you, River?” the Doctor asked, though he was a little afraid of the answer. “Do you regret anything?” They’d hardly had any time to themselves since Rose and Jack had turned up, the Doctor too focused on trying not to ruin everything all over again to spare much thought for River. She’d seemed to be doing well enough, but he knew she was capable of faking _all right_ just as well as he was.

“I regret a lot of things, Doctor,” River said. “But not this. Rose is delightful, and Jack is -”

“Jack,” the Doctor said.

River laughed softly. “Yes. But mostly, Doctor . . .” She reached out and cupped his face in her hand. “Mostly, I’d stopped hoping I’d ever see you so happy.”

“You made me happy,” the Doctor said, a little stung. “You _make_ me very happy.”

“Yes, but someday I won’t be here, my love. We both know that.” The Doctor closed his eyes, not wanting her to read in his face just how well he knew that. “And I want to know that you’ll go on being happy without me.”

He nodded, still avoiding her eyes. “Truth be told, I need to see if I can do anything about that. I told Jack it was impossible, but it isn’t as though the impossible and I are entirely unacquainted.”

River looked thoughtful. “If there is an answer, I’d suppose it would lie with the TARDIS.”

The Doctor nodded. “Clever River,” he murmured, twining one of her curls around his finger. “Between the two of us, we’ll figure it out.”

“I’m sure,” she said, and kissed him softly on the mouth.


	6. Beautiful Thing

Jack could count on one hand the number of times he'd come back to life in a bed. That first gasp was horribly painful no matter where he was, but once he'd managed a few he had to admit that this was something he could get used to. Waking up warm and safe took a lot of the sting out of coming back. In fact, the only thing better than waking up warm and safe was waking up warm, safe, and sandwiched between two gorgeous blondes.

Well - _sandwiched_ was perhaps not quite the right term. River sat at the head of the bed, propped against the headboard, idly stroking Jack's hair, while Rose sat cross-legged at the foot, caressing Jack's ankle through the blankets with one hand and sorting through a pile of what looked like brochures with the other.

"What about this one?" Rose said, while Jack caught his breath. " _Enjoy accommodations on a private beach, including the discrete services of a private housekeeper and chef. Beautiful weather and stunning sunsets guaranteed for the length of your stay, unless you request otherwise._ 'Unless you request otherwise.' What does that mean?"

"A rainy day is romantic on occasion," River said. "That sounds lovely. A bit boring but lovely."

"You are so like the Doctor," Rose said. "I could use a little boring just about now, and I'm sure Jack could, too. Isn't that right, Jack?"

"Boring sounds great," Jack said, his voice rough in his own ears. "How are you planning to get Himself to agree?"

"Oh, you leave that to us," River said. "I think between the two of us, there isn't much Rose and I can't get him to agree to." That was certainly true, Jack thought. "How are you feeling?"

Jack gave this question the consideration it deserved. "Not bad," he finally decided. Especially for having been shot in the head, chest, and stomach, and those were just the wounds he remembered. He moved his head so it rested against River's hip. "Where’s the Doctor?"

"In the bath," Rose said. "He carried you back to the TARDIS, got a bit -"

"Ah," Jack said.

"He'll be here," Rose said, still caressing his ankle. "And I'll make these reservations, and River will pilot the TARDIS so we'll arrive on time, and the four of us will spend at least a week lounging on a bed on a beach, with perfect weather and beautiful sunsets and little frothy drinks with fruit on sticks."

Jack smiled. "Promise me we'll do more than lounge."

"Oh don't you worry, Captain," River said in a sultry voice, while Rose laughed. River leaned down and kissed him, her wild, untamed hair falling around them like a curtain. Jack wrapped his arms around her and lost himself. Kissing River Song always felt a little dangerous, maybe because Jack was still worried the Doctor might kill him for it and maybe because River was, well, _River_. The woman made Daleks beg for mercy. But that little frisson of fear made it just that much better.

River let him up for air when the door slid open and the Doctor came in. He was still damp from his shower, his shirt untucked, his feet bare, and his bow-tie hanging untied around his neck. Jack felt his brain short out.

"Did you have a nice bath, sweetie?" River asked brightly.

"Yes. Very hot and bubbly." He caught sight of the brochures spread across the bed and sighed in palpable resignation. "Did you decide where we're going?"

Rose waved a brochure and turned to slide off the bed. "The Pleasure Beaches of Bella Cosa."

The Doctor groaned. "But Bella Cosa is so _boring_. The only unique thing about it is that nothing ever happens there, not one exciting thing in its entire history!"

"Exactly," Rose said. "It'll be restful."

"Restful," the Doctor muttered. "Never quite got the hang of that."

"Well, it's time you tried again," River said, pulling away from Jack. She paused on her way out and kissed the Doctor. "I'm driving. We'll see you out there in a bit."

The Doctor heaved another long-suffering sigh. "Very well." He waited until Rose and River had left, then shook his head. "Pleasure beaches," he grumbled, shuffling over to the bed. "I suppose it's better than shopping."

"Come on, Doc," Jack said, as the Doctor slid onto the bed. "A week on a beach, watching Rose and River run around in, well, nothing, probably. Sleeping, or not, in a big wide bed under the stars. That doesn't sound terrible to me."

"Well, when you put it that way," the Doctor said, stretching out beside him. Jack slid his hand beneath the Doctor's shirt. His double heartbeat resonated through Jack's palm, and the Doctor let his head fall to rest on Jack's shoulder. "Jack, Jack, my Jack," he murmured. "I hate the days I end up covered in your blood."

 _Better mine than anyone else's_ , Jack thought. Rose might be just as immortal as he was, but he knew it would shatter the Doctor to see her dead. It was probably inevitable, but if Jack could delay it for even a little while, he would. "You see? We all need a break," he said. "Everyone needs a breather from running for their lives now and then."

"I suppose," the Doctor said, grudgingly. Jack threaded his fingers through the Doctor's hair and listened to their breathing, just barely out of sync. "Jack," the Doctor murmured after a moment. "Are you happy?"

"Yes," Jack sighed. "Very. You?"

The Doctor answered his sigh with one of his own. "Jack, the truth is . . . " The Doctor paused, his arms tightening around Jack until he almost couldn't breathe, and kissed his shoulder before continuing. "The truth,” he murmured, against Jack's skin, “is that I can't remember ever being happier."

 _Fin._


End file.
